Last night I watched as 100 high school students were inducted into the National Honor Society. It was interesting to listen to all the speakers talk about the four elements of NHS: Leadership, Character, Service and Scholarship. It is no longer just a high grades club but much more. I don't know if the students truly understood what it means to be all of these traits.
The standout guest speaker asked a simple question: Who are you? There is no simple answer is there? You can describe yourself in terms of your role in life, mother, daughter, father, son, sister, brother, writer, engineer, lover, etc. but I found that unsatisfying. Much of how we describe ourselves comes from how others see us. Who are you to yourself? Who do you want to become? I am finding that my answers are all at once very difficult to put into words and very simple. I am what I want others to see: generous, kind, friendly. But in my heart who am I? Inside I am more scared, more petty and more selfish than I want people to know about. Does that negate the kind friendly and generous person I try to be? I don't think so because it means I am trying to be those things in spite of the internal struggles I do have.
I am a little older than a high school student and listening to others discuss those four NHS traits made me realize that the meaning of those words have changed for me over time. Leadership is no longer the more concrete idea that you pull people along with you but it is where you chose to help others reach a common goal. Service is not so much working just a soup kitchen once a week (even though this is a great help) but a constant surveillance of how you think and act everyday.
The guest speaker did speak of being USEFUL. She asked whether it was more important to be happy or to be useful? She made the argument that being useful leads to happiness. Being useful provides fulfillment and rewards without recognition, but grows a feeling inside that you made a difference.
Once it was snowing heavily, like it does in Syracuse, and I had to leave work early. Knowing I had a few minutes I brushed off the cars around me, even though they probably would be covered again before anyone saw. I figured, no one likes to brush off their car or scrape so if I do just this one thing, maybe it will help someone else. Like a Snow Ninja. I mention this, not for recognition because it isn't a tremendous feat of courage or sacrifice but to remind people of the feeling you get, even now after so long, of having helped someone. Was I useful? Maybe a little. Did it make me feel happy? Sure.
This useful idea is an addiction. Once you start to do these little things, you start to look for more. It is all the more poignant when no one knows.
So the question is Who are you? Who do you want to be? And does that include being useful?
AG
